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Bifocals and a Ponytail

Barbara Rainey
Barbara RaineyApril 2

In late August I’ll turn 60 which I know isn’t so terribly bad, but it does sound a lot older than 59. My daughter was quite shocked to realize that her mother was older than she thought. Bless her, but she thought I was still in my early 50s.

Even though it doesn’t really have much to do with my age, I am in a period of adjusting to who I am again. I have two big dilemmas in my life right now, my eyes and my hair. I had a detached retina in October which required immediate surgery and then some time to recover. I “heard” the doctor say my eyes would be back to normal in three months, but I’ve since learned that it’s not the old normal but a new normal that I still haven’t adjusted to. My latest attempt to see clearly is to try bifocals. I’m not pleased. I hear it takes getting used to, but I’m not sure I will make the turn. My vision was a lot better than I realized, and now that it is not so great I appreciate what I had so much more. Most of us could say that about a lot of things in our lives.

And then there is my hair. When I turned 40 I remember asking the girl who cut it for years if I had to start wearing it short now that I was middle-aged. She assured me I did not have to cut it, and so I kept it shoulder length until I turned 50. It’s been in various stages of short ever since. But here I am approaching 60 and I’m thinking about wearing my hair longer again. It’s gotten long enough that I can pull it back into a short ponytail, my favorite “do” for so many years. Easy, out of my face and a quick fix. So I’m analyzing again as I did before I turned 40 what to do that is age appropriate with my hair!

One of my favorite women, who I’m honored to share my birthday with, is a widow in our church. She just turned 90 last summer, and even though she has slowed down in many ways, she has always been a role model to me and hundreds of others. Miz Kitty has always been an elegant woman and she’s worn her hair long and piled on her head loosely, casually, and as is her style, elegantly. She’s just plain cute. Maybe I could be like her? She would be so worthy of emulating in so many ways beyond her hairstyle. She’d probably laugh if she knew what I was writing. Miz Kitty has been a prayer warrior as long as I’ve known her, and that example would be a better focus of my thinking than how I should wear my hair as I turn 60.

But, in my humanity, it’s one of those things I care about. There is no Bible verse for this except to know that my Father in heaven knows me and loves me anyway. I have no idea what I’ll do. So, today I’m sporting a two-inch ponytail and typing this with bifocals that blur! What an odd image!


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Anonymous @ 4/20/2009 9:02:06 PM 
60?! No way! You sure do not look it one bit! Sandy
Anonymous @ 4/8/2009 9:52:46 AM 
Aurgh. Just found my first gray hair last night. I know it's natural; I knew it was coming; it doesn't bother me when it's anyone else but still...Here's my verse for my year of jubilee: 2 Cor. 4:16 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." I had to tell somebody who would understand. Thanks. Mindy
Anonymous @ 4/7/2009 10:45:25 AM 
I let my hair go silver and thought I would try a bit longer length than my usual "as short as possible" look. Of course it is driving me crazy! I am looking at others styles and delving into hairstyle books at the beauty salon (do some people really have hairstyles like that?). So since it is a fun thing, and most days I can avoid a mirror, I am going straighter on the front and flipping out all over the back in silver! An interesting diversion. My eyes are getting chronic infections, so I am with you there Barbara! I have one eye dilated for weeks on end and drops every one hour for weeks, then every two hours and now I am at twice a day-victory for now! Eyes are precious! Praying your humor will help you find a fun hairstyle and our Lord will heal your eye problems! He lives! Bec
Anonymous @ 4/6/2009 11:31:52 PM 
As to length, my Mom hassled me to cut my hair to a "dignified length" for almost a year. I thought it a brilliant stroke to promise her I would, on the condition that she'd read the books of John & Acts for 30 days (she was silent on my post-it with ICor.11:15 on it...). Was that creative, or a mean-spirited ploy? The hair is still med. long (but styled now: ouch. $80 last time!), because dear Mum surrendered: she didn't last past John 4! :/ Then there's the hair-dye issue: I've welcomed it as a sign (LORD, give me ANY sign!) that I may be finally gaining wisdom. I've been approached by many women, some, total strangers, who say they are weary of their dye-jobs & are "going gray" like me. LORD! Give me a heart of lasting, peaceable wisdom! I'll dye my hair! I'll even stop riding on my grocery cart!! Just, could I have some? :) Thanks, Barbara, for your dignified example to we-who-follow-behind --!Ellen, age 48
Anonymous @ 4/6/2009 3:00:09 PM 
I'm just glad to have hair having lost it all during chemotherapy a few years ago. Getting wrinkles and saggy skin is a bummer, but in so many other ways I have grown into a much more beautiful woman with age. It has taken cancer and now my husband of 22 years walking away from our family to teach me a new dimension of God. Trials seem to be the reliably faithful teacher in life - and the more painful they are, the more effective God can be at changing me. I can't wait to see Him face to face. But for now, I am His and He is mine.

Sue
Anonymous @ 4/6/2009 7:12:52 AM 
Barbara,

I SO RELATE to everything!! Including the hair dilemma. It's really the whole
'getting older' thing. To be content with where I am and thankful for the blessing of having the Lord's light for the step I am on for the moment -- that's my goal. Which, by the way, definitely includes my humanity of 'Am I acting my age? and I am really 59?'

Thanks for sharing your struggles that help us all be real about where we are as well.

Blessings to you,

Kathy
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